Letter to Area Authority

Shit hit the fan, bad enough that I've now progressed from feeling merely ignored by my local leaders to outright fear of how much punishment they're going to dish out for my violations of non-doctrinal cultural norms... and if that vengeance might extend outside the ecclesiastical realm. This letter to the area authority is my last-ditch effort to get some sanity re-asserted on the situation before I go into hiding for my own safety and that of my family.

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March 8, 2015

Elder Richard J. Maynes
North America Northwest Area Authority

I am writing this letter in order to make you aware of a situation that the local leaders are handling very poorly, in hopes that you will be concerned enough to provide (or seek, if you are unqualified to provide personally) some much-needed direction on what the official policy is for this situation.

I describe myself as transgender, with an identity that is not male or female. The only surgeries I would be interested in having are ones that cisgendered women have also: mastectomy and hysterectomy. I have never made any claim as to the gender of my spirit, but have been blessed with a set of skills and talents that do not align with the conventional binary... and which I believe God intended to be fully exercised.

Local leadership has repeatedly stated that my welcome at church is conditional on my conformance to the culturally-define role of "woman" that they have assigned to me. Every time I try to initiate a discussion about where doctrine (the direction given by God, which I fully support and sustain) stops and culture (which was created by Man, and is as fallible as those who created it) begins, I receive a thoughtless recitation of the Proclamation on the Family followed by a series of pointed questions aimed at uncovering in what way(s) I am violating the commandments. Finding no violation whatsoever, they then proceed to issue a gag order forbidding me from discussing my non-binary gender experience. This routine has now been repeated with three bishops and three stake presidents presiding over three different wards over the course of the last two and a half years.

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of faithful members who have been allowed to express their faith along with "I'm gay" statements on Mormon.org. Not a single "I'm transgender" profile... and that's not for lack of submissions. My profile has been in administrative limbo for two years, with no indication of who is sitting on the decision of whether or not to approve, not even an acknowledgement that the "your submission... will be reviewed in the next few days" flag has been there far in excess of that duration or a hint of if it will ever be addressed. The strategy seems to be that denying acknowledgement of trans folk's existence will make them go away so that the awkward questions about how to integrate them can be avoided... and I know more than I want to count who have taken the hint and left the church.

I know this isn't "the way it's always been, and the way it will always be." I was at the special event hosted by Washington Park ward in Seattle on October 19th. A trans friend and I drove from Portland to Seattle that day just to be there. It was so wonderful to be able to speak openly about our experiences, to be with others who are also marginalized and excluded by the predominant Church culture! The bishop didn't even feel a need to ask why I wanted to go to the men's 3rd-hour gathering or impose warnings of what is and isn't allowed, went straight to "Sure, anyone is welcome in Priesthood." No hostile suspicions, no intimidation tactics, just plain simple welcome and gospel discussion.

It was a wonderful experience, but also an eye-opening experience as to HOW BAD my local reception is back home in Oregon. I haven't been able to stomach church attendance beyond the weekly sacrament meeting since then, and stopped going completely a month and a half ago when I realized that being surrounded by silent rejection was killing my testimony of the Gospel faster than waiting from a distance for that wonderful welcome I felt in Seattle to creep its way down to Portland. I told my bishop about the new development, and his only response was to commit to pray for me. Watch somebody drown while praying for them when you could be throwing a liferaft or attempting some other intervention... I appreciate the thought, while being astounded at the lack of accountability being displayed.

Yes, I'm well aware of what the doctrine has to say on my situation: absolutely nothing.
The Handbooks provide some direction on how to address members and potential members who have had or are contemplating sex reassignment surgery, although even that is in impressively vague and non-specific language. The issue of non-op transgender persons is completely omitted, which leaves local leaders free to make up rules based on their own personal biases and pass these rulings off as "doctrine". Swapping stories with other transgender members, the range encountered is frightening: everything from swift exile to quiet welcome, with the same member typically getting vastly different treatment depending on the ward/bishop. The Proclamation on the Family is selectively cited, while conveniently overlooking the acknowledgement of varying human situations that are specifically referenced elsewhere in the same document.

My own latest round of this adventure resulted in a declaration from the Tualatin stake president that I will not be permitted to have any role that involves working with youth or children in the ward, and a very thinly veiled threat of formal church discipline if I continue to speak of my non-binary-gender identity/experience. I had Primary callings up until I moved to Beaverton and to the best of my knowledge, there has never been a single complaint about my conduct in church classes, callings, or interactions with children and youth... and yet, the mere hint that I might present a sample of faithful life which doesn't conform to "Molly Mormon" standards is grounds for punitive action. I am now terrified that these local leaders might take it a step further and "righteously" attempt to block me from working with children in non-church settings also, and wondering if it would be best for my family to not tell Church leaders what our new address is going to be after our upcoming move.

I want to build genuine friendships with other church members.
I want to be allowed to serve in the Church, wherever my skills/talents/abilities/knowledge/and-every-other-blessing-that-I-have-to-give are needed.
I want to have open, honest discussions about what aspects of Church doctrine have been revealed and which aspects we get to wait for further revelation on.
I want to show my friends and family that the Church of Jesus Christ follows God's teachings in welcoming and nourishing all of His children in their development as unique individuals.
I want my children to be safe at Church, to know that they won't be subjected to the same chronic rejection that I have.
I want to be respected and supported as a unique individual who has accepted a life path that many others would find disappointment in, without criticism for my "choice" to not pursue a traditional family. [It wasn't my choice, but that's a story for another day.]


Unless I'm grossly mistaken in my understanding of the Gospel, these are all righteous desires... that my local church leaders are actively blocking. My efforts to address their cultural biases have somehow managed to get me labeled as a dangerous troublemaker, a potential enemy of the church that needs to be closely monitored and restrained. I honestly don't know what else I can do to break through the heap of misunderstandings involved, and hope that you will find it worthy of your time and status to provide/seek direction that will get this mess out of its current downward spiral and back on a path to resolution.

Sam(antha) Corbin
currently living in (but not attending) Griffith Park Ward, Beaverton Oregon Stake
home purchase pending in Hedges Creek Ward, Tualatin Oregon Stake

PS: I get to mail this letter to a generic address because my bishop refused to facilitate getting a proper address on it.

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March 16th footnote:
Additional thought on the overall subject, arrived at after mulling over what response I can/should give to the question I've gotten from so many church leaders on what I want them to do...
What I want doesn't matter. I could make the most logically reasonable request possible, and you'd still refuse to comply on General Fucking Principle. In fact, me making a request, no matter how simple and reasonable, probably does more towards hardening your own heart than it does towards making any positive changes. So I'm done making requests for myself.
Ask God what He thinks you should do. I still have enough faith in continuing revelation to commit to my own willingness to comply with what you ask me to do AFTER you've asked the true head of your church. Until then, you and I are just wasting breath arguing our theories about how things should be done.